Home > Skeeter Bites... > Skeeter Bites: The best damn chili you’ll ever cook… guaranteed!

Skeeter Bites: The best damn chili you’ll ever cook… guaranteed!

A couple of weeks ago I ransacked the pantry for something to eat. Being turned away with only the appetizing thought of eating taco seasoning from the packet, I carried on to the one thing that has never let me down – the fridge.

Throwing things together has always been a culinary fetish of mine and this day was like many others. From my tantalizing egg Ramen to chicken & broccoli stuffed manicotti, my imagination has led to some of the heart-burningest creations this world has ever seen. So kick the crock pot on high, throw on some Al Green, and let my chili recipe take you away (and possibly to the bathroom afterwards).


1 lb Ground Chuck (cooked in sauce pan)

1 lb Spicy/Hot Ground Sausage (cooked in sauce pan)

1 lb Ground Turkey (cooked in sauce pan)

3 tbsp Chili powder

1 tbsp crushed black pepper

1 tbsp crushed, dried oregano leaves

1 large white onion (finely diced – after cooking, they will take on a very aromatic spongy feel)

1 small can tomato sauce

1 large can diced tomatoes

4 cans chili beans (to add spiciness to the mix, substitute a can of Chili ‘Hot’ beans)


After all the meats are cooked and drained, open all cans of beans and rinse thoroughly. (I like this step because the beans come packed in a semi-gelatinous red sauce that eerily reminds me of movie blood; that and they don’t taste as good). In a 5 qt. slow cooker, combine all ingredients – in no specific order – and mix vigorously. You can choose to mix sluggishly, however, I prefer the word vigorous. Simply sounds cooler. Cover slow cooker, set timer for 4 hours, and pop in your favorite Tom Hanks’ film.

Following the viewing of Castaway, Big, or The Money Pit, if your intestines don’t fell like exploding, they soon will. Spoon heaping gobs of dripping meat slurry into a bowl, garnish with cheese, and devour to your liking. This recipe is a guaranteed winner.


Categories: Skeeter Bites...
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