Archive for the ‘D.U.M.’ Category

D.U.M. excerpt numero dos

Hello again everyone. As promised, here lies another teaser from D.U.M.

Taken from the story, Chili Cheese Fatties:

I sit in the back seat of Bennie’s car with my head tilted slightly towards the menu. Half exhausted and half baked, I murmur to him to order a large onion rings and a massive bucket-o-drink. He acknowledges with a head nod and turns to J, whose attention has been diverted from food to his prey. “How you girls doing? Enjoyin’ your night?” His torso hangs attentively out of the car window, either due to the car’s spatial allowances or animalistic desire, as the cooing continues.

“Get your ass back in the car. Those girls don’t want to talk to you… besides, the driver looks like a dude.” My revelation startles J as Bennie begins to laugh hysterically.

“She’s just a little rough. I like mine with issues.”

“Rough? That’s more than rough. And some issues are fine as long as they aren’t that she has a thicker goatee than you.” Bennie cannot speak. His eyes fill with tears as he listens to me shred J’s qualifiers. His laughter erupts.

Categories: D.U.M.

D.U.M. excerpt numero uno

After years of hard work, endless bags of Doritos, and enough Rockstar Energy drink to stop the heart of a charging rhino, “D.U.M.”, my first independently released book will be available for purchase/download.

“D.U.M.” provides an anectdotal detailing of some of the utterly stupid things my friends and I have taken part in over the years. Its been a long haul, but hopefully you will enjoy reading it as much as I have investing time in writing it.

Keep checking back frequently as ‘teasers’ from the book will be released in the coming weeks.

Taken from the story Gonna Have a Lil’ Talk With Jesus:

“Hello. I’m Robert and this is Christopher. Have you heard the word of the Lord? Would you like to accept Jesus Christ as your savior?” Robert appears as a small, plain man, possibly early 20’s, in a suit finely tailored to accept the body of the saved. His companion stands to the side of him, apprehensively peering inside the house, like a timid mouse anticipating the snap of the trap. He sees me in the front room and I can imagine him thinking to himself that this is a bad idea.
“Come on in. My friend and I were just getting ready to watch a religious film. You’re more than welcome to join us if you would like.” Jay opens the door fully, allowing our two new friends to follow him into the living room. He shuffles toward his uniquely carved couch-niche, as his hand reaches around behind scratching his posterior. As our eyes briefly connect, he winks and flips me a half-smile, the definite sign of horrible things to come.

Categories: D.U.M.